Andrew M. Barnes

Thought I’d bring back a classic.

In case you missed it, the opening song at Elevation this week was With or Without You by U2, probably one of my favorite songs to date.  The bassline really carries this song.  Here are the lyrics, with a concert version following.

See the stone set in your eyes
See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she’s got me with
Nothing to win and
Nothing left to lose

And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you

With or without you
With or without you
I can’t live
With or without you
With or without you

It’s either late in the evening or early in the morning, depending on how you look at it.  Doesn’t change that it is 1:30am. 

It’s perspective, and we all have it.  Our experiences and our lifestyles dictate our varying perspectives.  A challenge I offer myself is to constantly evaluate all competing perspectives.  Different angles and perspectives give an insight into things you would have never imagined.   That would be what most would call ‘maturing’.  Tonight I had a flashback, a random flashback.  It led me to do an internet search for something I had done years ago. 

8 years ago I wrote a poem.  At the time I did alot more writing than I do now.  I kinda wish I’d get back into.  There was this one poem that even at the time stuck out, I revised it maybe 3x at the most, and to be honest I could revise a few grammatical errors at this point.  I’m pretty sure I remember who I was thinking about at the time….she’s now married. 

Reading this poem for the first time in 8 years, I couldn’t help but see myself from a different perspective.  The challenge as humans sometimes is to figure out if we are headed in the right direction in life or simply if we’ve matured.  I can’t help but look back at how I was when I wrote that poem.  How was I emotionally? or spiritually?  Over 8 years my perspective of myself has changed.  I now know myself better, I realize how far God has taken me even when I didn’t/don’t realize it.  Here it is (with a few edits), a very deep insight, circa 2000…

That Package
She likes a challenge, is that why she likes me?
It’s a matter of what I want
Do I care or do I want more?
Does that make a difference at all?
She will proceed without caution
Understanding its only me and time will tell
Will I change? Or is it a waste of time?
Do I need what she offers?
It seems too much to handle, but I care
For she might understand me
Does her face light up for me?
Is pity in her eyes?
Should it matter for my sake?
Is there more, am I a package of guilt in her mind?
Do I hold that package?
She seems outgoing, but I’m not
I want a friend, is she even a friend?
Is what I believe of myself what she believes a challenge?

Heres the link

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.” ~ Mark Twain

That quote alone encompasses where that poem came from.  I know myself better only because I remember a now competing perspective of who I am.

I don’t generally like to talk on the phone.  Most of the time I like to keep it short and to the point.  1 out of 10 calls is for longer periods of time….if even that.  It is safe to say I am not a social butterfly.

Sometimes when a conversation goes longer than what I was shooting for I start to space out.  I might say some interesting things to prove I’m listening.  My brain kinda works like Google, when you type in some keywords you get a variety of information, pictures, etc.  Here’s an example of a hypothetical phone call that I’ve intended to last mabye 30 seconds to a minute.

Some Dude: Hello.
Me: Hey man, what’s going on?
Some Dude: Not much, what are you doin’?
Me: Well, just wanted to see if you’d be interested in grabbing lunch today.
Some Dude: Yeah, possibly.  What were you thinkin’?
Me: I dunno, I’ll eat just about anything that isn’t moving, wait I take that back.
Some Dude: (fake laugh) I hear that!
Me: Yea, no seriously it doesn’t matter to me, I’m up for anything.
Some Dude: Let me think about my schedule.
—In case you missed it this where things get bad—
Me: Yea, sure.
Some Dude: Uhhh, dchoochoo-tsitsitsi cheche ummmmm.  I prooooobably have somewhere around an hour or so free so uhhhh um
Me: yea
Some Dude: I think if we wanna beat traffic…iojjivhoarihlaksdjfiohvlakeajfaoiwefjaovnaeoh…stupid 485…joiaiuhufhovjdfjosifhvuaralfjoidjoivjvasi.
—pause—
Me: Yea that thing is taking forever.
Some Dude: rant, rant, rant-rant-rant-rant, rant rant, and rant some more…the goverment…rant rant….they don’t care….rant rant.
Me: Thats how I feel about it>
Some Dude: I just pisses me off to no end, rant rant rant, and then this election coming up, rant rant rant, did you see that ad on tv?
Me: I dont even care anymore, I’m votin for myself.
Some Dude: Dude, I’d vote for you (real laugh).  Thatd be cool though.
Me: Yea maybe one day.
Some Dude: It’ just the way…ramble ramble ramble…blah blarambletido blah blah…ramble
—100% space out achieved—
—pause—
Me: Yea (sigh)
—pause—
Me: Um so just call me later when you figure it out.
Some Dude: Yea, I’m thinkin like Chilis at noon.
Me: Cool.

It seems short because I appreviated certain parts.  In real life this conversation would have lasted around 2 hours. 

All that to say that this week Alli went out of town, and when I say out of town I mean this place.  We normally don’t talk long.  If we ever talk for an hour its not because we’re telling jokes.  We bought a 120 minute phone card and once you incorporate the international rates, we had whopping (sp?) 30mins to talk.  After two nights folks we have successfully burned through that card.  Keep in mind our goal was talk for no longer than 5 minutes a day.  I’m pretty much a failure at life. (<— click them all)

I’ll be blogging more about my failures in the near present.

It has now been over a month since my last post, kinda sad.  You may or may not have noticed that my sanctuary of blogingnessity(?) was shut down for a few days, apparently I had too much traffic (my forum which was being raided by spammers….good times).

This short blog was brought to you by Twitter.com.  I have joined the twitter world…because sure all of you love to know what I’m doing every second.

Probably my worst title of all time.

Anyway, next week starts Charlotte Restaurant Week.  If you don’t know what that means you need to figure it out real quick.  Here’s basically how it works.

Goto CharlotteRestaurantWeek.com and find one of the participating restaurants that you have been drooling over for the past few years, which by the way include the likes of Ruth’s Chris and The Palm.  Once you find where you wanna go, make your reservation.

Here’s the good part, 3 course meals for $30…and that’s with the good stuff, not stuff they scraped off the floor.

I will be taking advantage of this great deal next week, just thought I’d pass it along.

Probably my worst blog of all time.

A tough question was asked of me tonight…”What does it mean to live a dangerous life for Christ?”  This isn’t a tough question because I don’t know the answer, it’s a tough question because I do know the answer. 

The first answer that came to mind was from the book of James, which just so happens to be one of my favorite books of the Bible.  The verse that played again over and over in my head is from James 1:22:

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.”

That is simply a tough pill to swallow.  It’s easy to read that verse and think about other people who should take that verses’ recommendation, its a whole other world to make scripture a constant burden on every action and thought, thus being intentional, in your own life.

In cliche-world, this is where the ‘rubber meets the road’, and where faith is actually practiced.  Christ doesn’t promise that following him will be easy.  Even with faith, a mountain of trust is required.  That trust is what makes faith work and grow in your life. 

Sometimes you just have to walk through pile after pile of crap and just trust/have faith, not that you won’t have to keep walking through the crap, but that by walking through that crap that it will have a beneficial impact on the cause of Christ.

That is what it means to live a dangerous life for Christ.  It’s the only way worth living.